Effective Communication With NLP & The Enneagram

Take Note Of These When Speaking

Joelseah — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 11:01:45 +0000

Part of effective communication involves the controlling of your voice. Very often, we tend to think that voice projection or control is only required during public speeches or presentation.

Well, to a certain extent, it can be useful in our everyday conversations as well. For a start, you’ll probably have difficulty talking to someone who mumbles all the time right?

Anyway, here are three things you can take note of when speaking, both in public and in private:

1. Volume
If you are speaking to a crowd. It is important that everyone is able to hear you. Always do a check at the start of a presentation, and occasionally follow up to make sure you’re not getting softer unknowingly.

When talking to someone in a normal conversation, speak at a comfortable volume so that it is neither too loud, nor too soft.

2. Tempo
There’s not really a correct tempo to follow. Tempo of course refers to how fast or how slow you speak. Generally, the trick is to go a little slower when you’re addressing a large audience, especially if you are speaking to them for the first time.

The reason for this is because not everyone may be proficient in the language you are speaking in. Also, the topic you are talking about may be new to them and thus, they need time to process the words you say.

If you are talking to someone on a one to one basis, then the key is to pace that person. If he or she speaks fast, then it’s alright to go slightly faster too.

3. Pauses
Pauses are a fantastic way to make your presentations more effective. Yet, it is also a technique that many people don’t use. One reason is because of anxiety when speaking in front of people. As a result, the heart beats faster, the person speaks faster, and the pauses are forgotten.

Make a conscious effort to pause. It helps you think about the next thing to say, and also allows the audience to digest your earlier statements. At times, it creates an anticipation effect too.

Practice the above tips in your everyday conversations and presentations, and you’ll find yourself becoming more confident. It is time to take that next step towards becoming a better communicator!

Check out this resource to discover more tactics that Top Professional Speakers use to effortlessly win audiences over. Learn more tips to Step Up And Speak!

Five Tips To Grab The Attention Of Your Audience

Joelseah — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:52:45 +0000

Have you ever had difficulty grabbing the attention of your audience during a presentation or speech? If you ever experienced such difficulties, it’s perfectly normal!

Audiences normally have short attention span. Grabbing their attention at the start is only useful initially, you need to continue to capture their attention periodically. Here are some tips on how you can do it:

1. Asking questions
Asking questions engages the audience and puts them in a thinking and active mode, instead of a receiving and passive mode. Also, it gives you time to plan your next move.

2. Telling stories
Everybody loves stories. If you can relate what you are saying to an anecdote or life story, it’ll definitely be well received.

3. Use quotes
Quotes, when used appropriately, can help motivate or inspire the audience, and anchor the message into their minds.

4. Use humour
Some presenters use humour for the sake of just cracking jokes. If you can use humour that is relevant to the topic, that’s an even bigger plus.

5. Use demonstrations
Where appropriate, demonstrate what you mean. You can even ask someone from the audience to assist you. This captures the attention of the audience because it is real action compared to just visual aids and listening. If one of their friends is assisting, it makes it even more interesting.

Of course, these five are just among the many tips available in gaining the attention of your audience. Do you have your own unique methods? Share with us by posting your comments here!

The Power Of “How” Questions

Joelseah — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 13:12:19 +0000

Have you ever had situations where you felt that you couldn’t achieve something? Or perhaps a friend of yours was lacking in motivation and felt that they wouldn’t be able to complete a task?

How do you normally handle such situations? How do you empower yourself or your friends, and bring them from a “limitation state” into an empowered state?

One of the quickest way is to use “How Questions”. How questions allow you to turn people around easily. When faced with challenges, we usually think of limitations and things that we can’t do. This is normal, and very human.

So for example, a friend of yours tells you there is no way he or she would be able to complete the marathon you’ve both signed up for. Instead of just encouraging by saying things like “Of course you can!” or “I’m sure you can do it”, empower that person by asking “How can you start training up for the marathon?”

This puts the person in a state of mind where he or she must now think of actions to take, in order to be ready for the marathon.

Likewise, if someone were to say “I’m not confident enough to speak in front of people”, you can empower that person by asking “How can you start to be relaxed about public speaking?”

So there you go. Start using statements that shift your mind towards possibilities instead of limitations, and increase your influence!

Smiling Enhances The Way We Communicate

Joelseah — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 06:19:53 +0000

When someone gives you a smile, what is the most natural response you would give?

I hope you said a smile too because researches have shown that smiling is contagious and we would very naturally return a smile with one as well. Smiling is an important part of communication, both in our personal lives, as well as our workplace. In fact, smiling is one of the most powerful elements of non verbal communication.

Smiling allows you to overcome barriers and open doors to new opportunities. So it’s good to smile all the time. However, there will be situations where you don’t feel like smiling. Perhaps you are feeling lethargic after a hard day’s work, or maybe you encountered something unpleasant.

Well, the good news is that our body is wired to our mind. So by changing either your physical or emotional state, you can still generate a smile.

Physical state – When you are in a lethargic physical state, such as slouching or slumping into the chair, your mind reacts by going into the same state too.

Of course, this means you can get into an empowered state simply by changing your physiology. Sit or walk straight, chest up, and put your lips together. Lift up the ends into a smiling shape, feel your eyes twinkle, and you’ll find your mood improving naturally.

Emotional state – This is essentially also the mental state because happiness is all in our minds. If we want to be happy, we will be happy.

So when you’re finding it difficult to smile, think happy thoughts. Think about the time you went to the beach, the waves and the cool breeze on you. Think about a joke you heard, a loved one, or something nice that happened to you. The moment you put yourself into a calm and happier state of mind, smiling becomes easy. So there you go. Start smiling more today, and reap the benefits that come along. Also, smiling makes you more approachable, and increases your influence!

Starting Conversations

Joelseah — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 14:06:13 +0000

Have you ever had difficulty starting a conversation with someone?

Perhaps you’re at a party, or maybe the start of a seminar, and you see people mingling around. Do you sometimes feel self conscious just standing there, and wonder to yourself how you can start talking to others?

You know what? The other folks standing around are probably feeling the same as you. So take the initiative and start getting to know others, they’ll be more than willing to start a conversation with you, and you’ll gain confidence from making the first move too!

Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Greet and introduce

The simplest of all (and the most no-brainer approach). Just walk up to someone, make eye contact, smile, and say hello with your name.

2. Look for something to comment

You can comment on the atmosphere, the decor, or the person whom you are talking to. Just remember, give complements rather that complaints. You can complement about the person’s dressing, accessories, hair, etc. This will act as a platform to link to other topics.

3. Ask questions

Open ended or leading questions are normally the more appropriate ones to kick start a conversation. Open ended questions encourages the other party to talk, while leading questions attempts to guide the other party’s answers. Of course, if your open ended question is not getting any response, don’t be disheartened.

Sometimes, it may be difficult to start expressing our opinions or views when rapport is not strong. So throw in some close ended questions that requires simple one word answers, then follow it up with open ended again.

Here’s an example:

Assuming you have introduced yourself,

Close ended – “Have you been to such seminars before?”

Possible reply – “Yup.”

Close ended – “Nice, when was the last seminar you attended?”

Possible reply – “Hm.. about 3 months back”

Open ended – “That’s quite recent. So what was the seminar about?”

Of course, the above is just an example. It’ll be difficult to list down all possible variations of how the conversation will turn out. Do you have other ways to start conversations easily? Do share it on the comments board =)

Small Talk Vs Big Talk

Joelseah — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:11:57 +0000

I was having a drink with my friends recently and we kinda stumbled upon the topic of conversational differences between men and women. Here’s an interesting video illustrating the difference between how the two genders communicate.

The gist of it is that men prefer to go straight to the point. If nothing big happened, then there’s nothing worth mentioning. Women, on the other hand, do not require a major event to create a talking point. Of course, this is pretty much a generalisation and do not accurately reflect the communication style of every single man and woman out there.

Take a look at the video and let me know if you agree with it =)

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NLP In Communication

Joelseah — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:26:54 +0000

Here’s a pretty good video explaining how NLP can be relevant in our everyday communication. It focuses on how a same string of words can be interpreted differently by everyone. The speaker thus emphasises that it is important to clearly relate your intention to the other party and ensure that the meaning that is being received is exactly what you want to convey.

Tips To Become A Communication Magnet

Joelseah — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 02:56:55 +0000

Are you a communication magnet?

Communication magnets are generally people whom others enjoy talking to. Somehow or other, there is something about these people that make others feel comfortable when conversing. They have an ability to make people feel comfortable, and confident about themselves, so opening up and talking becomes a very natural thing.

Here are some tips that anyone can use to become better communicators:

1. Show interest in others

Statistics have shown that one of the things that people enjoy talking about most is themselves. However, if everyone is only waiting for the chance to talk about themselves, then communication becomes a bore and nothing will come out of it.

So take the initiative and listen first. Become more interested in others, and others will usually be interested in you too. Show genuine interest and ask questions to reflect that, and listen to the information provided. This encourages the other party to speak more, and builds up rapport between the two of you.

2. Be well read and familiar with recent events

Being well read and familiar with recent events allow you to participate and offer opinions when the need arises. However, be careful not to dominate the conversation with your views only. Facilitate the conversation by asking for the opinion of the other party.

In the case of a group, you can encourage others to be a part of the conversation by volleying (Answering questions or making comments then adding a “return” question after that) and encouraging others to share and contribute. Remember, when you genuinely ask for the opinion of others, you make them feel important.

3. Be enthusiastic and use names

Being enthusiastic keeps the conversation lively and the usage of names allow others to feel appreciated. If you have difficulty remembering names, one easy method is to use the person’s name in the conversation. Simple approaches like mentioning the person’s name at the start of a question will allow yourself to have a deeper connection of the name to the face.

4. Pacing

Pace the other party’s body language, gestures, and speech. Make sure you’re not speaking too fast or too slowly for them. Use varied tone and mirror their gestures and posture in a very natural manner.

While there are a lot more tips to help you become a better communication magnet, these tips should get you off to a good start. Being aware of them and practicing them will allow you to become more comfortable and confident in conversations.

Do you have your own unique ideas to become a communication magnet? Share your ideas with the community by leaving your comments!

The Twitter Phenomenon

Joelseah — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:51:11 +0000

Twitter seems to be making huge waves on the impact of Online communication these days. Everywhere I go, it seems like everyone is Tweeting, where you post short messages of not more than 140 characters.

This micro blogging phenomenon is slowly gaining momentum in Singapore also. In the Singapore newspapers, there’s at least an article on Twitter every week. Are you on Twitter already?

I’ve included a short video from the Wall Street Journal digital network, where they interview some folks on their usage of Twitter.

Handling Tough Questions

Joelseah — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:12:46 +0000

In my previous post, I covered some tips on overcoming public speaking fears. Most of the tips are really used prior to presentation or speaking. Some of you have emailed me asking how I would answer tough questions during a training or presentation, so here are some ideas to get you started.

Preparation again

Once again, preparation is the key here. Put yourself in the shoes of the audience and think about the possible questions people may ask. You can also speak to close friends or family before your presentation and ask for their opinion, it may give you some valuable insight that you may have missed.

Based on my past experiences however, there is no way you can be 100% prepared for every single question thrown at you. However, it still beats going for a presentation without any information to back you up.

Giving answers based on referential experiences

Most of the time, you’ll get questions that you’re unprepared for. One way of answering such questions is to provide a calculated answer based on your experience. Many times when I conduct product trainings, I’ll receive questions that are hard to answer because of the untested technology.

So normally I’ll give them an answer by drawing on referential experiences. In addition, I’ll point out that the answer is based on referential experiences and I can only be absolutely sure after further tests. Do remember though, if you say you’ll get back to the audience with the confirmation, make sure you do it.

Parking lot

Sometimes, you may get questions that can be better answered later in the presentation or training because of other topics that you’ll be covering later. A good way to address this is to park the question. You can have a flip chart where you list down questions that you’ll answer later in the session, or at the end. This reassures the audience that they will receive an answer later.

Also, when you answer a question on the parking lot, strike it off. As you keep striking questions off, the visual effect creates an impression in the audience that they have no lingering doubts about the presentation.

What if you really have no answer?

If you really have no answer, look for one. As a presentator, it is your responsibility to ensure that your audience leaves with no unclarified doubts. You either search for an answer during breaks, or find the answer after the session and get back to your audience through email or other convenient ways.

So there you go, some tips on handling tough questions as requested by some of you. Do feel free to drop me other questions through the contact form or simply leave a comment =)