Effective Communication With NLP & The Enneagram

Twitter seems to be making huge waves on the impact of Online communication these days. Everywhere I go, it seems like everyone is Tweeting, where you post short messages of not more than 140 characters.

This micro blogging phenomenon is slowly gaining momentum in Singapore also. In the Singapore newspapers, there’s at least an article on Twitter every week. Are you on Twitter already?

I’ve included a short video from the Wall Street Journal digital network, where they interview some folks on their usage of Twitter.

According to the Book of Lists and some other statistics, the number one fear for most people is public speaking! People who have a fear of public speaking generally find themselves having

1. Sweaty palms
2. Faster heart beat
3. “Butterflies” in their stomach
4. Inability to move away from their speaking position
5. Terror of looking at the audience
6. Total or partial memory loss (of the things they need to say)
7. And some others which i can’t think of now =P

It is common knowledge that even the most experienced of speakers may come across some form of nervousness or anxiety when speaking in front of a crowd, so having a fear of public speaking is actually normal. Of course, this limitation could hinder our progress, both in our careers and personal lives.

Here are some tips to help reduce the amount of nervousness during public speaking:

1. Preparation and Practice

Even top experienced speakers spend a decent amount of time preparing for their talks and speeches, this goes to show how important preparation can be. With a healthy amount of preparation and practice, you’ll be extremely familiar with the topic that you’re presenting. This familiarity gives you a certain level of comfort and puts you in a better state of mind to begin presenting.

One of the best ways to prepare yourself is to visualise yourself presenting. The more vivid and accurate your visualisation, the more effective it’ll be. Things like knowing the sequence of your slides or visual aids, the position you’ll stand, the layout of the venue, the number and sitting arrangement of the audience, the tone and volume of your voice, etc. will all add on to the effectiveness of your preparation.

2. Arrive early and start working

Arrive early at the venue to set up your equipments. Know the layout well – Information such as the best spot to stand, the way walk around the room, the view that your audience will be seeing, will be useful when you start presenting. More importantly, start working by building rapport with your audience.

Unless you’re a guest speaker who is allocated a slot in the middle of a program, you should be able to meet the audience before the start of the presentation. Use rapport building skills to get to know them, this will reduce the amount of anxiety when you look at them during presentation.

3. Breathe and pause when speaking

Before you can start thinking about using words that suit your audience better, you have to be able to speak with ease. One of the things I realise about nervous speakers is that they deprive themselves of the opportunity to breathe and pause.

Pausing is extremely useful because it allows you to breathe and compose yourself, look at the audience to see if they are following you, and think about the next point you want to talk about. (Occasionally, if you wish to crack a joke, a pause builds up the effect too).

Of course, with more experience, the amount of things that you can process in your mind during that short pause will increase too. When that happens, you know that you are making progress in public speaking.

So there you go. Some simple tips to help you ease the discomfort of public speaking. Give it a shot and let me know if it helps!

Here’s an interesting video on Negotiation techniques. Negotiation is something that many of us find difficult for various reasons. Some may be shy in asking for more benefits, some feel that they have to give more before they can ask for something in return, some are plain dominant and just want something without giving, and so on.

In this video, the speaker emphasises that dialogue is key in establishing a balance between relationship and results. We want results and maintain relationship at the same time. So the way we communicate what we want, and what we can offer, is crucial. Check out the part where they discuss about the various ways to phrase your sentences during a negotiation process.

Type Nines are the peacemakers. They are peaceful by nature, and like things to be slow and steady, relaxed and easy going. They have a need to go with the flow and avoid conflict. Put a Nine in the middle of an argument and they’ll get very uncomfortable, because it disrupts their inner peace and stability.

They belong to the instinct triad, though they are very out of touch with aggression. Type Ones if you recall, suppress their aggression and anger because they think that it is not right. Type Nines on the other hand, are out of touch with anger because they don’t want any involvement with it, and would rather avoid it.

They are withdrawn people who stay away to keep their inner peace. However, it doesn’t mean that they are anti social people. You’ll still find Nines who would enjoy chilling out over a drink and just relaxing. In fact, relaxing is the key word for them.

Type Nines see themselves as laid back and accepting. They are very accommodating people who can get along well with anybody. In fact, they find it easy to see things from many points of view, and can put themselves into the shoes of others easily. This easy going and approachable attitude make them good companion to hang out with.

However, their relaxed and laid back attitude may cause others to think that they are very lazy at times. It could take some effort to get a Nine to start doing a task or assignment, because they are so laid back.

Do you think you are a Type Nine? Or do you already know that you are a Type Nine? What do you think about the accuracy of this short description?

Type Eights are known as the confronter. They are usually outspoken people who find it easy to voice their opinions, and take a tough stand towards being treated unfairly. Though it is normally perceived that they have a need to dominate, it is more accurate to say that they have a need to not be dominated.

Type Eights belong to the instinct triad, and have over expressed aggression. Unlike Type Ones who suppress their anger or aggression because they find that it is wrong to get angry, Type Eights are not likely to hold back should they have any anger or displeasure within them.

They have an assertive energy, and are aggressive in asserting themselves. In most cases, they have a do first, think later attitude. Thus, they like to see themselves as forceful and decisive, usually choosing to go with their gut instinct and charge ahead, rather than worry about the details.

Generally, they find it easy to make decisions, and are usually confident about their abilities. It doesn’t matter if others disapprove of what they do because they don’t see a need to seek approval from others. One of the best way to build rapport with Eights is to be direct and honest with them. Ironically though, because of the forceful nature of Eights, people usually avoid being direct with them.

Do you think you are a Type Eight? Or do you already know that you are a Type Eight? What do you think about the accuracy of this short description?