Effective Communication With NLP & The Enneagram

Type Fives are known as the observer, or the investigator. They have a need to understand the world, and as a result, are usually very perceptive and analytical people. Type Fives are often regarded as the thinker of the Enneagram, the ones who engage their minds the most.

This is why they belong to the thinking triad, and have over expressed thinking. What it means is that Type Fives have a tendency to think too much, or retreat into their minds to think through things.

They have withdrawn energies and are perfectly comfortable away from people and into their own private space, where they can withdraw into their thoughts. They are also very rational and logical people, able to analyse things with ease and provide logical answers.

Type Fives also tend to read a lot, be it books, or newspapers, or even the internet. This is because they think that knowledge is power, and acquiring as much knowledge as possible will keep them safe. As a result of all those thinking and self talk, Type Fives are usually private and solitary by nature.

Do you think you are a Type Five? Or do you already know that you are a Type Five? What do you think about the accuracy of this short description?

Few days back, I was sharing with some friends on how our non verbal communication is actually more important than our verbal communication. One of them asked if I ignore the non verbal part and just focus on improving verbal communication, which three tips would I give.

Here’s what I told them:

1. Pace the other party

I would like to say speak slowly. However, the word pacing seems to be a more appropriate word in this situation. The reason for this is because not everyone would like a person who speaks slowly. If you are speaking to a kinesthetic person, it is likely he or she would prefer to slow down, since they occasionally access their feelings during a conversation. However, a visual person is likely to speak faster, since they think in images.

So pace yourself according to the other party, that is taking responsibility for the way you communicate, which is a crucial attitude in order to become an effective communicator.

2. Speak Clearly and Audibly

I don’t know about you guys, but I find it extremely difficult to understand people who mumble. The volume you speak in is very important too. I personally know of people who like to speak softly so that others will have to lean forward to hear them, thus creating the “attention” factor.

Well, there are better and more effective ways to get the attention of others. Match your volume to the environment you are in, and speak clearly. You’ll receive the correct attention in this manner.

3. Offer Compliments

Everyone loves compliments, and it doesn’t hurt to be more generous with yours. Of course, there is a difference between giving sincere compliments and outrightly faking it because you want others to like you. Show appreciation towards others by giving sincere compliments and you’ll find yourself building stronger rapport with people.

There you go, three tips on improving communication verbally. What do you think about them? Do you have any important verbal communication tips of your own?

Having said that, I must still add that one of the most important communication skills is not in talking, but listening. It doesn’t help if you have strong verbal communication skills, and you can’t listen. I’ll post some tips on active listening soon, so stay tuned!

Very often, we are so caught up with the urgent stuff in life and we seek instant gratification for the things we do. As a result, we neglect to do the important things that will make a difference for ourselves in the long run.

Going for a run may not give instant results. However, do it on a regular basis and the rewards may slowly appear. Reading a book may not provide instant success. However, the knowledge that you learn and apply may eventually add greater value to your life, and perhaps even to the people around you.

So take a moment and ponder about it. What will you do today, that will matter tomorrow or in the long run?

The Type Four is also known as the individualist. This doesn’t mean that a Type Four is a self centred individual. What is means instead is that they are very in touch with their own feelings, and enjoy expressing themselves through creative or unique outlets.

Type Fours have a need to be special or different. In fact, they often view themselves as being the odd one out in a group. They belong to the feeling triad. Unlike the Two who over expresses feelings or the Three who is out of touch with feelings, Type Fours under expresses their feelings.

What this means is that they don’t express their feelings openly. They choose to do it through other means such as art work, music, cooking, writing or performing. They can be very expressive people, though it may not in a verbal sense. Type Fours have a withdrawn energy, usually choosing to stay away from crowds so as to protect their fragile feelings and self image.

There’s usually plenty of emotions in a Four, and they have a tendency to embrace bitter sweet memories too. This is quite an interesting aspect of Type Fours because on one hand, they feel that they have gone through hurt and unpleasantness. Yet on the other, they can see the sweet memories in all these.

They also have a tendency to live in a fantasy of what is missing, though when they do get it eventually, they usually feel that reality is not as sweet as the fantasy itself. For some of them, the sweetest love is the one that they can never get.

Do you think you are a Type Four? Or do you already know that you are a Type Four? What do you think about the accuracy of this short description?

The Type Three is known as the achiever. They have a need to succeed in life, and they measure their success based on goals and tasks completed, and sometimes the image they portray.

Type Threes are feeling based people. However, they are often out of touch with their feelings. What this means is that they normally choose not to talk about their emotions with people. Instead, they prefer to be doing things and achieving objectives.

They are also assertive in energy, and this results in them being aggressive in competition and pursuit of their goals. They are usually outspoken and interact with people well.

They view themselves as accomplished and dynamic, and constantly pursue achievements because they crave for recognition. To many Threes, they feel that others will not accept them for who they are, and it is only through achievements will they feel that they are accepted. This results in Threes becoming very goal and task oriented.

Type Threes are also fond of good looking things. It is not surprising to find them dressed in flashy or colourful clothes, or drive around in beautiful cars. To them, looking good is as important as being good. It’s no point being successful when others cannot tell. Which is why they are never shy to talk about their talents or achievements and you might even see their trophies and awards displayed proudly in their houses.

Do you think you are a Type Three? Or do you already know that you are a Type Three? What do you think about the accuracy of this short description?