Effective Communication With NLP & The Enneagram

In my previous post, i gave an overview of the Enneagram and the nine personality types in it. A point i wish to highlight again is the dynamic nature of the Enneagram. Though there are nine basic types, each type has nine levels of health ranging from Healthy to Average to Unhealthy.

Also, each type has two other numbers beside it, known as the wings. A person will likely possess attributes or characteristics of one or both wings. Next are the lines. The lines indicate the integration and disintegration points of each type. Also known as growth and stress points, it describes the positive characteristics an individual will show when they are feeling motivated and empowered, as well as the negative characteristics when they are under stress.

Taking everything into consideration, you’re easily looking at hundreds of possible combinations. Which is exactly what human nature is all about. We develop and evolve through environmental influences, teachings, experiences, etc. Every one of us is dynamic in that sense, and the Enneagram fits in nicely with that aspect.

Brief description of the nine personality types

I’ve included brief descriptions of all nine types below. These descriptions are the works of two well known Enneagram experts, Don Riso and Russ Hudson. The names given to each personality type reflect traits that are relatively healthy. You may also come across other Enneagram authors who assign different names. Do remember that these names are just for reference purposes, and the traditional Enneagram is number based, simply because numbers are more neutral.

Type One – The Reformer

The principled, idealistic type. Ones are conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers, crusaders, and advocates for change: always striving to improve things, but afraid of making a mistake. Well-organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards, but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. They typically have problems with resentment and impatience. At their Best: wise, discerning, realistic, and noble. Can be morally heroic.

Type Two – The Helper

The caring, interpersonal type. Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

Type Three – The Achiever

The adaptable, success-oriented type. Threes are self-assured, attractive, and charming. Ambitious, competent, and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for advancement. They are diplomatic and poised, but can also be overly concerned with their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness. At their Best: self-accepting, authentic, everything they seem to be—role models who inspire others.

Type Four – The Individualist

The introspective, romantic type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Type Five – The Investigator

The perceptive, cerebral type. Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation. At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time, and able to see the world in an entirely new way

Type Six – The Loyalist

The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent “troubleshooters,” they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion. At their Best: internally stable and self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others.

Type Seven – The Enthusiast

The busy, productive type. Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.

Type Eight – The Challenger

The powerful, aggressive type. Eights are self-confident, strong, and assertive. Protective, resourceful, straight-talking, and decisive, but can also be ego-centric and domineering. Eights feel they must control their environment, especially people, sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating. Eights typically have problems with their tempers and with allowing themselves to be vulnerable. At their Best: self-mastering, they use their strength to improve others’ lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and inspiring.

Type Nine – The Peacemaker

The easy-going, self-effacing type. Nines are accepting, trusting, and stable. They are usually creative, optimistic, and supportive, but can also be too willing to go along with others to keep the peace. They want everything to go smoothly and be without conflict, but they can also tend to be complacent, simplifying problems and minimizing anything upsetting. They typically have problems with inertia and stubbornness. At their Best: indomitable and all-embracing, they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.

All Rights ReservedCopyright 2008 The Enneagram Institute

The nine types in all of us

As you read about the various types, you may see yourself in some, or even all nine types. That is perfectly normal. For example, we may come across a type two moment when we help someone, and feel a sense of joy when their face lights up with gratitude and happiness. Or we may come across a type five moment when we get so absorbed in learning something and feeling a sense of superiority after mastering it.

In order to find out what your core type really is, you would need to dig deeper and understand what your core values are. In other words, what is your fundamental motivation when you are in your downtime, just being yourself. This point is also something you have to keep in mind when you are profiling someone else.

The Enneagram’s dynamic nature means that there is almost no end to learning, which makes it more intriguing for me. If you’re interested to learn more about it, do keep a lookout for future postings, where I’ll touch on more areas about the Enneagram.

For now, if you’re still pondering about your type, do take a look at my previous post on The Enneagram and check out the available Enneagram Resources.

You may have heard of the saying “Knowing your enemy is half the battle won”. Being able to understand others puts you in a better position in Interpersonal Communication. When you know the personality of the person whom you are communicating with, you understand how to phrase your words so that your points gets across effectively. In other words, you are responsible for the way you communicate.

I’ve come across several profiling systems, and one that i find extremely useful is the Enneagram (Pronounced Any-a-gram). The Enneagram is a dynamic and accurate map of human nature that explains our underlying motivation for existence. Ennea is the Greek word for nine, so the Enneagram translates loosely to mean “Nine Diagram”.

There are speculations that the Enneagram originated way back in Babylon in 2500B.C. Despite the possibilities that the Enneagram was first used a long time ago, it is still very accurate and widely used today because human nature has not changed.

Design of the Enneagram

As you can see, the diagram is made up of nine points on a circle, with interconnecting lines. Each point is marked by a number from one to nine. Each number represents one of the nine basic personality types, which are interrelated with one another as indicated by the connecting lines.

A key element of the Enneagram lies in the connecting lines, indicating the direction to evolve in order to fulfil the potential of a given personality type, rather than staying put at a spot. In addition, there are nine levels of development for all types, varying from Healthy, Average, to Unhealthy. So developing within a type to achieve the healthiest level also ensures a more fulfilled life.

An important point to bear in mind about the Enneagram is the use of numbers to define each type. Unlike other profiling systems that use words, the Enneagram uses numbers because of the neutral representation. Words are likely to be received with judgement, whereas numbers are neutral.

Another point to note is that there are no superior personality types. All types have their strengths and areas for caution, and can all achieve vast success when at their healthy best. Of course, certain types might be more valued due to cultural or societal differences.

Short description of the nine personality types

Type 1: Principled, Orderly, Self controlled, Purposeful, Perfectionist, Self righteous.
Type 2: Caring, Generous, People pleasing, Possessive, and Manipulative.
Type 3: Adaptable, Ambitious, Image conscious, Driven, Excelling, Hostile.
Type 4: Expressive, Intuitive, Self absorbed, Temperamental, Depressive, Melancholic,
Type 5: Perceptive, Original, Detached, Innovative, Secretive, Procrastinate a lot.
Type 6: Responsible, Engaging, Committed, Loyal, Anxious, Suspicious, Defensive.
Type 7: Enthusiastic, Spontaneous, Versatile, Scattered, Distracted, Restless.
Type 8: Self confident, Dominating, Decisive, Confrontational, Combative, Wilful.
Type 9: Peaceful, Reassuring, Agreeable, Complacent, Receptive, Neglecting

I’ll be posting more about the Enneagram over time. If you are eager to learn more about it, or wish to take some tests to find out what type you could be, do check out the links below.

Free Enneagram Profiling Tests:

Enneagram Institute – Riso Hudson Personality Tests

Eclectic Energies – Eclectic Energies Enneagram Tests

The term Paradigm Shift was first introduced by Thomas Kuhn in his book, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions. Today, the word paradigm is commonly used to represent a thought pattern or perception, which in turn affects our attitudes and behaviours. Paradigm Shift in this sense means to change our limiting thoughts and perceptions.

The Map Is Not The Territory - A map is simply an explanation of how an actual territory is like. It lists details such as buildings and roads, however, the map is not the actual territory, it is just a representation.

Every one of us would agree that the illustration above makes sense. Some might even add that it is common sense. Now, if we stop to think about it, many of us are actually making the mistake of treating our map as THE territory. Allow me to draw some parallels here.

The territory here refers to the actual world out there, the world that goes on without our control. The map refers to our perception of the world. Every one uses a different map, depending on culture, society, upbringing, language, experiences, etc. In a nutshell, we perceive the world according to our maps, our realities. How i perceive a given situation may not be the same as you, and vice versa. Yet, how often have we treated our reality as the only reality?

For The World To Change, I Must First Change – This statement places you in an empowering state of mind by acknowledging that you are in control of your thoughts. The moment you change your perception, the world around you changes too.

In Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he wrote about an experience he had in a train. A man and his kids boarded the train, and while his kids were yelling and throwing things around, he just sat there doing nothing. It was clear that everyone in the train was irritated, and when he couldn’t take it anymore, Covey turned to the man and asked if he could control his kids. The man apologised and explained that he was feeling at a loss because the kids’ mother died in hospital just an hour ago.

Imagine how his perception would have changed immediately, and how that change would have led him from a feeling of irritation to one of compassion. Bringing up this story is just to reinforce the idea that what we see and think may not be what it really is. We choose what we want to perceive as our reality. Being aware of this allows us to constantly place ourselves in an empowering state of mind, and make us better communicators!

What has Effective Interpersonal Communication got to do with Personal Mastery? Well, for a start, I strongly believe that what we communicate is a reflection of ourselves. As we all know, communication is made up of verbal and non-verbal elements.

The verbal element is all about the words that come out of us, which is not too difficult as long as you have a good grasp of your language. However, being a master communicator isn’t all about the words you use. I’m sure many of us have come across people who made us feel that what they say isn’t really aligned with what they are.

That brings me to my point. Effective communication is made up of many things, the words we speak is obviously one of them. In addition, our body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, these are things which can be seen or heard on the surface.

Going deeper, our beliefs, our identity, our personality, our character all adds up to the way we communicate. And crucially, these are things that make up who we are. Things that cannot really be seen on the surface, yet constituting to a potentially greater aspect of the communication that comes out of us.

So there you go. In order to communicate effectively, we must first live effectively. This site is dedicated to sharing the strategies of effective interpersonal communication through mastery of ourselves.

I’ve trained in countries across Asia and interacted with people from diverse backgrounds and cultures, and one consistent thing i noticed is that many people don’t realise they have total control over self excellence. Very often, an individual is let down by his or her own limiting beliefs, and they wonder why they could never achieve success. Of course, success is defined differently by every one of us. Be honest with yourself, are you denying yourself greater success because of limiting beliefs?

Through my postings, I’ll be sharing skills that you can apply in work and personal life, that will enhance the way you communicate. So let us embark on our journey towards effective interpersonal communication through self excellence and mastery!