Effective Communication With NLP & The Enneagram

Part of effective communication involves the controlling of your voice. Very often, we tend to think that voice projection or control is only required during public speeches or presentation.

Well, to a certain extent, it can be useful in our everyday conversations as well. For a start, you’ll probably have difficulty talking to someone who mumbles all the time right?

Anyway, here are three things you can take note of when speaking, both in public and in private:

1. Volume
If you are speaking to a crowd. It is important that everyone is able to hear you. Always do a check at the start of a presentation, and occasionally follow up to make sure you’re not getting softer unknowingly.

When talking to someone in a normal conversation, speak at a comfortable volume so that it is neither too loud, nor too soft.

2. Tempo
There’s not really a correct tempo to follow. Tempo of course refers to how fast or how slow you speak. Generally, the trick is to go a little slower when you’re addressing a large audience, especially if you are speaking to them for the first time.

The reason for this is because not everyone may be proficient in the language you are speaking in. Also, the topic you are talking about may be new to them and thus, they need time to process the words you say.

If you are talking to someone on a one to one basis, then the key is to pace that person. If he or she speaks fast, then it’s alright to go slightly faster too.

3. Pauses
Pauses are a fantastic way to make your presentations more effective. Yet, it is also a technique that many people don’t use. One reason is because of anxiety when speaking in front of people. As a result, the heart beats faster, the person speaks faster, and the pauses are forgotten.

Make a conscious effort to pause. It helps you think about the next thing to say, and also allows the audience to digest your earlier statements. At times, it creates an anticipation effect too.

Practice the above tips in your everyday conversations and presentations, and you’ll find yourself becoming more confident. It is time to take that next step towards becoming a better communicator!

Check out this resource to discover more tactics that Top Professional Speakers use to effortlessly win audiences over. Learn more tips to Step Up And Speak!

Have you ever had difficulty grabbing the attention of your audience during a presentation or speech? If you ever experienced such difficulties, it’s perfectly normal!

Audiences normally have short attention span. Grabbing their attention at the start is only useful initially, you need to continue to capture their attention periodically. Here are some tips on how you can do it:

1. Asking questions
Asking questions engages the audience and puts them in a thinking and active mode, instead of a receiving and passive mode. Also, it gives you time to plan your next move.

2. Telling stories
Everybody loves stories. If you can relate what you are saying to an anecdote or life story, it’ll definitely be well received.

3. Use quotes
Quotes, when used appropriately, can help motivate or inspire the audience, and anchor the message into their minds.

4. Use humour
Some presenters use humour for the sake of just cracking jokes. If you can use humour that is relevant to the topic, that’s an even bigger plus.

5. Use demonstrations
Where appropriate, demonstrate what you mean. You can even ask someone from the audience to assist you. This captures the attention of the audience because it is real action compared to just visual aids and listening. If one of their friends is assisting, it makes it even more interesting.

Of course, these five are just among the many tips available in gaining the attention of your audience. Do you have your own unique methods? Share with us by posting your comments here!

In my previous post, I covered some tips on overcoming public speaking fears. Most of the tips are really used prior to presentation or speaking. Some of you have emailed me asking how I would answer tough questions during a training or presentation, so here are some ideas to get you started.

Preparation again

Once again, preparation is the key here. Put yourself in the shoes of the audience and think about the possible questions people may ask. You can also speak to close friends or family before your presentation and ask for their opinion, it may give you some valuable insight that you may have missed.

Based on my past experiences however, there is no way you can be 100% prepared for every single question thrown at you. However, it still beats going for a presentation without any information to back you up.

Giving answers based on referential experiences

Most of the time, you’ll get questions that you’re unprepared for. One way of answering such questions is to provide a calculated answer based on your experience. Many times when I conduct product trainings, I’ll receive questions that are hard to answer because of the untested technology.

So normally I’ll give them an answer by drawing on referential experiences. In addition, I’ll point out that the answer is based on referential experiences and I can only be absolutely sure after further tests. Do remember though, if you say you’ll get back to the audience with the confirmation, make sure you do it.

Parking lot

Sometimes, you may get questions that can be better answered later in the presentation or training because of other topics that you’ll be covering later. A good way to address this is to park the question. You can have a flip chart where you list down questions that you’ll answer later in the session, or at the end. This reassures the audience that they will receive an answer later.

Also, when you answer a question on the parking lot, strike it off. As you keep striking questions off, the visual effect creates an impression in the audience that they have no lingering doubts about the presentation.

What if you really have no answer?

If you really have no answer, look for one. As a presentator, it is your responsibility to ensure that your audience leaves with no unclarified doubts. You either search for an answer during breaks, or find the answer after the session and get back to your audience through email or other convenient ways.

So there you go, some tips on handling tough questions as requested by some of you. Do feel free to drop me other questions through the contact form or simply leave a comment =)

According to the Book of Lists and some other statistics, the number one fear for most people is public speaking! People who have a fear of public speaking generally find themselves having

1. Sweaty palms
2. Faster heart beat
3. “Butterflies” in their stomach
4. Inability to move away from their speaking position
5. Terror of looking at the audience
6. Total or partial memory loss (of the things they need to say)
7. And some others which i can’t think of now =P

It is common knowledge that even the most experienced of speakers may come across some form of nervousness or anxiety when speaking in front of a crowd, so having a fear of public speaking is actually normal. Of course, this limitation could hinder our progress, both in our careers and personal lives.

Here are some tips to help reduce the amount of nervousness during public speaking:

1. Preparation and Practice

Even top experienced speakers spend a decent amount of time preparing for their talks and speeches, this goes to show how important preparation can be. With a healthy amount of preparation and practice, you’ll be extremely familiar with the topic that you’re presenting. This familiarity gives you a certain level of comfort and puts you in a better state of mind to begin presenting.

One of the best ways to prepare yourself is to visualise yourself presenting. The more vivid and accurate your visualisation, the more effective it’ll be. Things like knowing the sequence of your slides or visual aids, the position you’ll stand, the layout of the venue, the number and sitting arrangement of the audience, the tone and volume of your voice, etc. will all add on to the effectiveness of your preparation.

2. Arrive early and start working

Arrive early at the venue to set up your equipments. Know the layout well – Information such as the best spot to stand, the way walk around the room, the view that your audience will be seeing, will be useful when you start presenting. More importantly, start working by building rapport with your audience.

Unless you’re a guest speaker who is allocated a slot in the middle of a program, you should be able to meet the audience before the start of the presentation. Use rapport building skills to get to know them, this will reduce the amount of anxiety when you look at them during presentation.

3. Breathe and pause when speaking

Before you can start thinking about using words that suit your audience better, you have to be able to speak with ease. One of the things I realise about nervous speakers is that they deprive themselves of the opportunity to breathe and pause.

Pausing is extremely useful because it allows you to breathe and compose yourself, look at the audience to see if they are following you, and think about the next point you want to talk about. (Occasionally, if you wish to crack a joke, a pause builds up the effect too).

Of course, with more experience, the amount of things that you can process in your mind during that short pause will increase too. When that happens, you know that you are making progress in public speaking.

So there you go. Some simple tips to help you ease the discomfort of public speaking. Give it a shot and let me know if it helps!

Few days back, I was sharing with some friends on how our non verbal communication is actually more important than our verbal communication. One of them asked if I ignore the non verbal part and just focus on improving verbal communication, which three tips would I give.

Here’s what I told them:

1. Pace the other party

I would like to say speak slowly. However, the word pacing seems to be a more appropriate word in this situation. The reason for this is because not everyone would like a person who speaks slowly. If you are speaking to a kinesthetic person, it is likely he or she would prefer to slow down, since they occasionally access their feelings during a conversation. However, a visual person is likely to speak faster, since they think in images.

So pace yourself according to the other party, that is taking responsibility for the way you communicate, which is a crucial attitude in order to become an effective communicator.

2. Speak Clearly and Audibly

I don’t know about you guys, but I find it extremely difficult to understand people who mumble. The volume you speak in is very important too. I personally know of people who like to speak softly so that others will have to lean forward to hear them, thus creating the “attention” factor.

Well, there are better and more effective ways to get the attention of others. Match your volume to the environment you are in, and speak clearly. You’ll receive the correct attention in this manner.

3. Offer Compliments

Everyone loves compliments, and it doesn’t hurt to be more generous with yours. Of course, there is a difference between giving sincere compliments and outrightly faking it because you want others to like you. Show appreciation towards others by giving sincere compliments and you’ll find yourself building stronger rapport with people.

There you go, three tips on improving communication verbally. What do you think about them? Do you have any important verbal communication tips of your own?

Having said that, I must still add that one of the most important communication skills is not in talking, but listening. It doesn’t help if you have strong verbal communication skills, and you can’t listen. I’ll post some tips on active listening soon, so stay tuned!