Found this video on youtube when I wanted to show examples of the way Barack Obama communicates during his election campaign. No politics involved here, just a short interview with T.J Walker (who advises executives on effective speaking) on the communication lessons managers can take away from President-elect Barack Obama’s win.
Happen to come across this video on Youtube while I was looking for videos for my communication training. Think it’s pretty useful stuff. Here’s what is mentioned in the description of the video:
“Essential skills for all business people – how to spot when someone is lying and more! In this video, Barry from Management Consultancy International outlines how to ensure that you get the most from your face-to-face interactions by reading the vast amount of information in body language. Some of these revealing clues are intentional by the speaker, whilst some are completely unintentional.”
Take a look at the video and tell us what you think =)
Few days back, I was sharing with some friends on how our non verbal communication is actually more important than our verbal communication. One of them asked if I ignore the non verbal part and just focus on improving verbal communication, which three tips would I give.
Here’s what I told them:
1. Pace the other party
I would like to say speak slowly. However, the word pacing seems to be a more appropriate word in this situation. The reason for this is because not everyone would like a person who speaks slowly. If you are speaking to a kinesthetic person, it is likely he or she would prefer to slow down, since they occasionally access their feelings during a conversation. However, a visual person is likely to speak faster, since they think in images.
So pace yourself according to the other party, that is taking responsibility for the way you communicate, which is a crucial attitude in order to become an effective communicator.
2. Speak Clearly and Audibly
I don’t know about you guys, but I find it extremely difficult to understand people who mumble. The volume you speak in is very important too. I personally know of people who like to speak softly so that others will have to lean forward to hear them, thus creating the “attention” factor.
Well, there are better and more effective ways to get the attention of others. Match your volume to the environment you are in, and speak clearly. You’ll receive the correct attention in this manner.
3. Offer Compliments
Everyone loves compliments, and it doesn’t hurt to be more generous with yours. Of course, there is a difference between giving sincere compliments and outrightly faking it because you want others to like you. Show appreciation towards others by giving sincere compliments and you’ll find yourself building stronger rapport with people.
There you go, three tips on improving communication verbally. What do you think about them? Do you have any important verbal communication tips of your own?
Having said that, I must still add that one of the most important communication skills is not in talking, but listening. It doesn’t help if you have strong verbal communication skills, and you can’t listen. I’ll post some tips on active listening soon, so stay tuned!
Although eye movements and usage of words are the more common ways of accessing a person’s Representational Systems, there are other accessing cues as well. The way we think will always show up somewhere in our behaviour.
For example, a visual person who is constructing images as they talk will then to speak faster and possibly at a higher pitch. This allows them to keep up with the images in their brain. In addition, their breathing will be more shallow, and their muscles will be more tensed.
Auditory people who think in sounds breathe more evenly over the chest area, unlike visuals who breathe higher up in their chests. Their tonality is often clear and expressive. Usually, their heads will be well balanced on the shoulders or tilted slightly, as if they are listening to something.
A feeling or kinesthetic person will breathe low in their stomach area, and have more relaxed muscles. Their heads tend to tilt down and their tonality is deeper, with pauses in their slightly slower speech. Those who talk to themselves are also likely to look down. Sometimes, they may lean their head on a side using their hands. For some, they even repeat what they just hear to themselves, so you might spot a bit of lip moving.
Of course, this is a general description of how other parts of our body will react according to the way we think. When you are observing others, it is always good to be flexible since we are not produced from a factory assembly line.
Have you ever had situations where you felt that you couldn’t achieve something? Or perhaps a friend of yours was lacking in motivation and felt that they wouldn’t be able to complete a task?
How do you normally handle such situations?
How do you empower yourself or your friends, and bring them from a “limitation state” into an empowered state?
One of the quickest way is to use “How Questions”. How questions allow you to turn people around easily. When faced with challenges, we usually think of limitations and things that we can’t do. This is normal, and very human.
So for example, a friend of yours tells you there is no way he or she would be able to complete the marathon you’ve both signed up for. Instead of just encouraging by saying things like “Of course you can!” or “I’m sure you can do it”, empower that person by asking “How can you start training up for the marathon?”
This puts the person in a state of mind where he or she must now think of actions to take, in order to be ready for the marathon.
Likewise, if someone were to say “I’m not confident enough to speak in front of people”, you can empower that person by asking “How can you start to be relaxed about public speaking?”
So the next time you encounter a situation where you face limitations, remind yourself that you can choose to continue concentrating on the limitations, or empower yourself and others by choosing to think about possibilities. Start using statements that shift your mind towards possibilities instead of limitations, and increase your influence today!
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