Effective Communication With NLP & The Enneagram

Haven’t been active on this blog for ages. I’m posting again today to introduce a brand new dating and matchmaking service for singles in Singapore known as LoveStory.sg.

LoveStory.sg is an idea that was conceived by some friends of mine, and looks like it has the potential to boost the dating industry in Singapore. For a start, it’s the first singles dating and matchmaking service in Singapore that combines online social networking with offline dating and events!

Of course, what has dating got to do with a communication blog, you may ask? Simple. A large number of singles take part in dating and matchmaking events, only to freeze when they find someone they fancy.

One key reason for this common scenario is because of a lack of communication skills, or in this context, dating communication skills. LoveStory.sg has a blog that shares dating tips, and you don’t have to be a member to visit it.

Of course, the membership is still generally meant for Singaporeans since it’s a Singapore dating service that works closely with the related authorities.

Getting curious? The website will be starting it’s beta launch soon, but you can visit www.lovestory.sg and access the blog for latest dating tips now.

Part of effective communication involves the controlling of your voice. Very often, we tend to think that voice projection or control is only required during public speeches or presentation.

Well, to a certain extent, it can be useful in our everyday conversations as well. For a start, you’ll probably have difficulty talking to someone who mumbles all the time right?

Anyway, here are three things you can take note of when speaking, both in public and in private:

1. Volume
If you are speaking to a crowd. It is important that everyone is able to hear you. Always do a check at the start of a presentation, and occasionally follow up to make sure you’re not getting softer unknowingly.

When talking to someone in a normal conversation, speak at a comfortable volume so that it is neither too loud, nor too soft.

2. Tempo
There’s not really a correct tempo to follow. Tempo of course refers to how fast or how slow you speak. Generally, the trick is to go a little slower when you’re addressing a large audience, especially if you are speaking to them for the first time.

The reason for this is because not everyone may be proficient in the language you are speaking in. Also, the topic you are talking about may be new to them and thus, they need time to process the words you say.

If you are talking to someone on a one to one basis, then the key is to pace that person. If he or she speaks fast, then it’s alright to go slightly faster too.

3. Pauses
Pauses are a fantastic way to make your presentations more effective. Yet, it is also a technique that many people don’t use. One reason is because of anxiety when speaking in front of people. As a result, the heart beats faster, the person speaks faster, and the pauses are forgotten.

Make a conscious effort to pause. It helps you think about the next thing to say, and also allows the audience to digest your earlier statements. At times, it creates an anticipation effect too.

Practice the above tips in your everyday conversations and presentations, and you’ll find yourself becoming more confident. It is time to take that next step towards becoming a better communicator!

Check out this resource to discover more tactics that Top Professional Speakers use to effortlessly win audiences over. Learn more tips to Step Up And Speak!

Have you ever had difficulty grabbing the attention of your audience during a presentation or speech? If you ever experienced such difficulties, it’s perfectly normal!

Audiences normally have short attention span. Grabbing their attention at the start is only useful initially, you need to continue to capture their attention periodically. Here are some tips on how you can do it:

1. Asking questions
Asking questions engages the audience and puts them in a thinking and active mode, instead of a receiving and passive mode. Also, it gives you time to plan your next move.

2. Telling stories
Everybody loves stories. If you can relate what you are saying to an anecdote or life story, it’ll definitely be well received.

3. Use quotes
Quotes, when used appropriately, can help motivate or inspire the audience, and anchor the message into their minds.

4. Use humour
Some presenters use humour for the sake of just cracking jokes. If you can use humour that is relevant to the topic, that’s an even bigger plus.

5. Use demonstrations
Where appropriate, demonstrate what you mean. You can even ask someone from the audience to assist you. This captures the attention of the audience because it is real action compared to just visual aids and listening. If one of their friends is assisting, it makes it even more interesting.

Of course, these five are just among the many tips available in gaining the attention of your audience. Do you have your own unique methods? Share with us by posting your comments here!

Have you ever had situations where you felt that you couldn’t achieve something? Or perhaps a friend of yours was lacking in motivation and felt that they wouldn’t be able to complete a task?

How do you normally handle such situations? How do you empower yourself or your friends, and bring them from a “limitation state” into an empowered state?

One of the quickest way is to use “How Questions”. How questions allow you to turn people around easily. When faced with challenges, we usually think of limitations and things that we can’t do. This is normal, and very human.

So for example, a friend of yours tells you there is no way he or she would be able to complete the marathon you’ve both signed up for. Instead of just encouraging by saying things like “Of course you can!” or “I’m sure you can do it”, empower that person by asking “How can you start training up for the marathon?”

This puts the person in a state of mind where he or she must now think of actions to take, in order to be ready for the marathon.

Likewise, if someone were to say “I’m not confident enough to speak in front of people”, you can empower that person by asking “How can you start to be relaxed about public speaking?”

So there you go. Start using statements that shift your mind towards possibilities instead of limitations, and increase your influence!

When someone gives you a smile, what is the most natural response you would give?

I hope you said a smile too because researches have shown that smiling is contagious and we would very naturally return a smile with one as well. Smiling is an important part of communication, both in our personal lives, as well as our workplace. In fact, smiling is one of the most powerful elements of non verbal communication.

Smiling allows you to overcome barriers and open doors to new opportunities. So it’s good to smile all the time. However, there will be situations where you don’t feel like smiling. Perhaps you are feeling lethargic after a hard day’s work, or maybe you encountered something unpleasant.

Well, the good news is that our body is wired to our mind. So by changing either your physical or emotional state, you can still generate a smile.

Physical state – When you are in a lethargic physical state, such as slouching or slumping into the chair, your mind reacts by going into the same state too.

Of course, this means you can get into an empowered state simply by changing your physiology. Sit or walk straight, chest up, and put your lips together. Lift up the ends into a smiling shape, feel your eyes twinkle, and you’ll find your mood improving naturally.

Emotional state – This is essentially also the mental state because happiness is all in our minds. If we want to be happy, we will be happy.

So when you’re finding it difficult to smile, think happy thoughts. Think about the time you went to the beach, the waves and the cool breeze on you. Think about a joke you heard, a loved one, or something nice that happened to you. The moment you put yourself into a calm and happier state of mind, smiling becomes easy. So there you go. Start smiling more today, and reap the benefits that come along. Also, smiling makes you more approachable, and increases your influence!